Most of my weekends these days are spent driving to either a soccer venue or a cycling race, and sometimes both. This morning had us in the car by 6 a.m. heading to a cycling race in Ohio. Driving east, the sky began to lighten little by little. As the sky started turning shades of pink and purple, threaded with gold, I looked in my side mirror before switching lanes. There in the reflection of my mirror hung the largest full moon I’ve seen in some time.
Actually, I had seen it last night. The big white ball suspended in the dark sky, but I was surprised to see it now – behind me – where the sky was trying to hold on to what was left of nighttime.
As I drove in silence while my son and his friends slept, I thought about the juxtaposition of the moon behind me and the sun in front of me. The years have brought darkness. Some of it was a direct result of my actions while other times I was a reluctant participant in the dark schemes beyond my control.
The loss of a friend. The end of my marriage. The death of my father. All of those circumstances hemmed me in with a darkness that, at times, felt unbearable and hopeless. Yet, in God’s grace and goodness, he always, ALWAYS illuminated the way. He didn’t always hang the brightest full moon. Sometimes it was barely a sliver. And some nights, the light was completely eclipsed. But faith and truth taught me to trust that the light, no matter how slight, was still there. Still behind whatever was veiling it at any given time. Furthermore, I learned to trust that the nighttime would not last forever. Dawn would always break with a magnificent feast of color and new hope spread out before me.
When we arrived in Ohio, I had some time between races to hike for an hour or so. This particular race took place in a beautiful state park with plenty of trails that traversed alongside the Little Miami River. With the sun now fully overhead, I started to thank God for the light he brought to me when all else seemed dark in my life.
Friends, that light is you. You have held me when I felt unlovable. You have cried with me when my world fell apart. You have cooked me dinner. Cleaned my house. You have written me notes. Sent me books. Handed me kleenex. I am forever grateful that God uses relationships… deep, loving, irreplaceable friendships to bring us into light.
As I walked and prayed, I praised God for being the Light of the World, and asked him…if he so desired… to help me be someone’s light, to use me as someone’s moon, whether crescent or full, so I can help bring truth and healing in an otherwise dark and lonesome sky.