How do you start a blog post after a three-month hiatus? How do you come back to your reader and explain the absence? How do you start to explain the absolute paralysis you felt during those three months? I have no idea.
I have stared at this blank screen on and off for an hour. All I know is that I must write again. And I must write honestly. Yet every time I start to type, I feel my hands freeze at the thought of my impending disclosure. Some of you won’t be surprised. Others will be shocked. So.. here it goes…
My husband and I are getting a divorce.
Phew! I said it. I put it out there. Once I press “publish,” there’s no turning back. Of course, I could delete the post, but I probably won’t. In future posts, which I hope will be a bit more regular now that I am feeling like I exist in the land of the living again, I will probably disclose a little more. However, these disclosures will NOT be inflammatory or hurtful to my husband. He is still my husband for now, and even as my ex-husband I will choose to be respectful. I will tell my side of the story and at times I may allude to his part in things but my hope is that I can talk honestly and openly about how this has affected me without being distasteful.
All that said, I am now starting to feel. Thus, I am now writing. It feels good to be back. To break the ice. To let my readers know that I am still on this journey of life with all it’s messiness and beauty. I’ll write again soon. Hope you’ll stay tuned, as well.