10. …do the same thing over and over, expecting different results. If you KNOW the bus comes by at 8:11 a.m. sharp, do not attempt to cross the street at 8:11 a.m. sharp every day. You will get run over.
9. …Say you’re not mad at a friend. “It’s all good,” you tell her, but when you hang up you find your photo albums and begin removing all of the pictures that include her. And when she calls you back, you see if she wants to come over so now you have to hide all of the pictures you took out of the album.
8. …have a boatload of kids, close enough together in age so everything is a competition, in which YOU are referee.
7. …talk to yourself in the grocery store aloud in the “personal care aisle.”
6. …get the most hyper-active dog you can find and tell yourself you can have him trained in no time, because your four little boys will help with the obedience class. WRONG. It’s a toss up of who needed the class more… dog or boys?
5. …throw responsibility out the window and jump on an airplane for a tropic locale, calling your spouse to fill him in once you’ve arrived at your destination. (As crazy as this is, it’s soooo very tempting.)
4. call someone more than twice in an hour because you’re so obsessed with talking that you neglect to see just how creepy that is.
3. …you sing the answer to many of the questions that come your way, although there really is a song for every situation.
2. …you stay up too late night after night writing in a blog or checking random information on the internet. Did I really need to waste my time watching the Dutch ‘Annie” auditions on You Tube?
1. …you say one thing and really believe that … and then say the opposite and you believe that, too, until you no longer know how to tease out what is true.