Re-entry into life can be hard for me. I was so content in Florida. I could check out for a while. Read a novel. Take a nap. Ride a bike. Stroll the beach. Talk with my husband for more than 5 minutes uninterrupted.
But now it’s back to reality. Schedules. Deadlines. Carpools. Fatigue. Interruptions. I miss vacation.
It’s easy to live in the here and now on a break like we just had. I had lived for a week or so forgetting that we live in a world that is full of pain and heartache. I don’t mean to be a downer, and I’m really not depressed. But I forgot for a while. And it felt good. I didn’t stop praying for my friend with leukemia or my children’s wellbeing, my husband’s health or my own unhealthy patterns. All that stuff was still with me. I guess it just wasn’t so intense.
Now at home, I am trigged by various things that remind me of my mistakes. I am pulled in different directions, making it harder to be at peace. But hopefully I can choose to walk through the hard stuff and face them rather than run away or check out in some unhealthy manner. Not always easy but Lord willing, and with a little humility and courage, I will survive re-entry. And who knows maybe the vacation will serve as a springboard to renewed vision and purpose and better yet, to better overall health. That, in turn, always leads to a better sense of my own identity and my deep need for Jesus – so that I may serve others and be there for them instead of staying wrapped up in self, self, self where I have been trapped for much too long.